Lessons From Tamil Movies

1. Every villian will have a palatial house. The house should have a wooden staircase inside the house.

2. Atleast one of a pair of identical twins is born evil. Hospitals don't know how to safely keep twins - they will always be misplaced.

3. The first job a hero gets is pulling carts and lifting rice sacks. If the hero is shown working in his young age - he will wash glasses in a eatery. His mother will wash utensils in a rich home.

4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

5. If the hero has a sister she will be raped. If he has a loving father or mother they will be killed.Honest and hard working policemen if related to the hero will be killed half way into the movie.

6. The bad guys die instantly when shot,the good guys/gals get 5 min to finish their dialogue - get promises for their lost wishes, join lovers etc etc

7. The hero can bleed only from the corner of his lips irrespective of where he is hit. All other good characters will be hit on the head and the hospital will bandage it with the blood showing. They will also be put on a ventilator and given blood transfusion.

8. If you are the hero or heroine and become a policeman or IAS / collector etc - your first posting will be in your hometown.

9. If you are the hero and start a business, just sing a song, by the time the song is over you will become a millioner.

10. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her

11. The hero will always use a red public telephone booth to make calls ( have you ever seen one in india?)

12. The hero or villian will just come out of the airport - but will have a whole assortment of arms incl a revolver, a knife on his person.
Whatever happened to airline security..

13. No bullet can hit the hero - unless aimed at the arm or leg. He can dodge 10 AK47 blazing away by a simple somersault.

14. If you are the hero the villain instead of gunning you down, will use complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow the hero at least 20 minutes to escape.

15. Any grenades thrown at the hero will hit the vehicle next to it or land in a pit of red sand and blow up. However the hero can even backhand or deflect a grenade perfect to it target.

16. All villans will chase the hero in sumo trucks. The first one will carry the villian and all other trucks will blow straight up into the sky.

17. Other villains will chase the hero in Royal Enfield Bullets. Two of these bullets will be launched straight throw a pile of hay or into a river. A car will careen off a bullock cart and fall/slide on it top in a busy road.

18. The hero will know how handle any vehicle ( aero plane/helicopter incl) even though as per the story line he is a village bumpkin.

19. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off -- even while underwater.

20. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

21. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

22. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. Similar carts loaded with fruits/vegetales/bangles. Tea shops with brass boilers and drums have a propensity to attract flying Karate style kicks.

23. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

24. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

26. Herioines should wear white sarees while dancing and it should rain atleast for half the song.

27. All characters - politicians/army men/police even in Kashmir can speak and understand tamil.

Dont Beleive me ? - watch any tamil movie and you will know !!!!!!

Good People add in your comments to this list too !!!!